After the first viewing... this is when my heart breaks TWICE... once, for Jack... again, for Ennis.
The line is in Ennis' response to Jack's line:
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
Then "Ennis stands as if heartshot , face gray and deep-lined. Fights a silent battle, grimaces." and says
"Then why don't you?! Why don't you let me
be? It's because of you, Jack, that I'm
like this. I'm nothin'. I'm nowhere."
Jack was letting off steam... frustrated at not being able to be with his one true love all the time. Why does he have to be second to everything else in Ennis' life? Why does he have to suffer the agonizingly long periods between their times together? Why can't Ennis see his agony? Why can't he be more like Ennis? Why can't he stop loving Ennis?
All I could do was just sob when Jack finished with his "I wish I knew how to quit you"... it was torture.... but then it got worse...
Ennis heard Jack alright... and it hurt him badly. It hurts Ennis so badly that Jack is *ALSO* hurt in all of this. Ennis lost Alma... and now, he stands to risk losing Jack. Hasn't he paid his dues? Hasn't he tried to do as much as he could to "stand it"? Hasn't he done as much as he could do? He loves Jack and Jack loves him ... and still it isn't enough... If he has to suffer then maybe it would be better if he just let the Jack go so that his one true love won't have to suffer with him... it would be better if he was nothin' and Jack just let him be...
My heart just burst at that... Ennis was making the supreme sacrifice, he was releasing Jack, his beloved, from his obligations of love. That was love.
Peace,
Frank